Recognizing the Signs of Bacon Addiction

1 Oct
Like most fixations, I’m pretty sure this one began in my childhood. I grew up in a house where morning meals didn’t usually consist of bacon, toast and other trappings of a western breakfast (now i’m probably in some way obligated to write about northern Chinese breakfasts hmm)
.
But in fact, I do not really recall breakfast being enforced in my house at all. My parents began entrusting me with the task of trucking myself off to school at a young age Thus I was usually left to my own devices and that meant skipping breakfast almost as if to save room for eating a ginormous lunch (and said parents should know I am grateful for that). I really do get nauseous at the idea of children not being able to wipe their own asses even by the time they leave for college (metaphorically! weirdo). I’m pretty sure my mother had some sort of mistrust for bacon as well. Nothing that delectable could be good for you so I was never exposed to bacon by virtue of dinner either.


Thus, i entered University and the adult phase of my life being totally and utterly defenceless against the temptation. It’s like being that grown man with a ridiculous sweet tooth because his mother deprived him of all sweets when he was a child.


It began quite innocently with a few strips here and there for brunch, just as an accompaniment for my omelette and such. But let me tell you, pretty soon all I could think about each morning was how I could incorporate bacon into things that previously didn’t warrant bacon. I can’t stop phantom-smelling it; can’t stop making it at odd hours of the night in various states of undress; can’t stop wondering how many days of back-to-back bacon eating is just plain embarrassing. Soon enough, I just stopped cooking other things to go along with my bacon. I’m mortified people I live with will notice my problem. I don’t really know what to do at this point except to just eat as much as needed for me to grow sick of it finally. Being a creature of habit, I will usually have periodical obsessions for this or that. Usually my own lack of self-control will run its course and take care of things. I still cannot, to this day, smell the lemon poppyseed loaf at Starbucks without wanting to upchuck.
Oh, and as for the common debate surrounding how bacon should be cooked? I do like mine slightly crispy on the edges but still supple and visceral for the most part.


Update: okay so i’ve noticed my face is unusually oily for the last couple of days…God, is it the bacon? …it can’t be right?

 

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2 Responses to “Recognizing the Signs of Bacon Addiction”

  1. About: Rin October 1, 2011 at 11:17 pm #

    Do you like crispppy ones that's almost kind of burnt or kind of soft bacon?I prefer crispy. 😀

  2. Meg C October 1, 2011 at 11:27 pm #

    i love soft bacon that I can really chew on actually! i know people who love crispy bacon hate soft bacon but I think there's so much more bacon flavour that way you know?

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